Well! Something is amiss here! Who would have thought that the person who should have went home by now – and almost did – would have given the best performance of the night and the finest vocal of the evening? But thanks to the grat and powerful Oz himself, with no help from flying monkeys, Jason Castro floated to the top of this “Inspirational” evening, leaving everyone else choking on his hookah smoke, with lil’ goofball ArchuD2 grabbing at his behind!
The Castro curio notwithstanding, I must admit that my favorite non-Idol performance of the evening was the following gem of a commercial (and would it be too much too hope for for a duet with Carly during the finale this year?):
In keeping with this weeks pseudo-theme, my inspirational gratitude was that there wasn’t a “Wind Beneath My Wings” or “Greatest Love Of All” within earshot. Thanks, Brooke and Syesha!
But, on with the show…
Michael Johns
Song: Aerosmith’s “Dream On”
My grade: B-
Forgoing the judges’ call to stunt his inner-rock muse, Johns’ rock-god posturing is a distraction (as beautiful a distraction on that Idol stage as it is) and deters from the actual vox. So, after last week’s sexy and soulful Dolly perf, I was taken aback when he decided that mimicking Steven Tyler was a smart move. I mean, it was a proficient enough vocal, but in lieu of spicing it up with some Down Under Soul, he gives the best Tyler impersonation he could muster the first 45 seconds or so. Then, the histrionics kicked in and Johns yelped and panted and gasped so fiercely it was as if some supernatural forces grabbed that hideous ascot and induced some auto-erotic asphyxiation. It was so wrong, it was almost all right.
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Syesha Mercado
Song: Fantasia’s “I Believe”
My grade: B
Okay, I’ll start on a positive. It could have been this, folks:
My deepest apologies for having to put you through that again.
Not learning a thing from LaKisha’s uninspired performance during last season’s “Inspirational Week”, Syesha loses the battle with common sense and I for one could find no logical raison d’etre for her brain-atrophing decision to select this Season 3 inaugural incantation, which to this very day remains fresh in the minds of millions; the most colossal musical performance in Idol history (yes, you read that correct), Fantasia was guttural, tear-the-roof-off proof that great singers are born still in this new millennium, a revelation that will always ensure comparison. Mercado was competent, sure, but who ever equated competence with aesthete?
Will we ever see anything quite like this again on the Idol stage:
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Jason Castro
Song: Israel “Iz” Kamakawiwo’ole’s version of “Over The Rainbow”
My grade: A-
Even though the late, great Kamakawiwo’ole’s version of “Over The Rainbow/What A Wonderful World” medley has been utilized a gazillion times over the past decade in countless films, TV shows and commercials, it is such a transcendent, archetypal arrangement that remains timeless and tonight I can imagine Iz smiling from beyond in recognition. If there was one minor grumble I have regarding Castro’s beautiful version is that that’s exactly what it was, a faithful cover of a cover – he added nothing new to it. But, semantics aside, his voice never quavered, fluttering and swooping and emoting along, strumming his ukulele like a true-blue, lit-up friend at a family picnic, creating a Kodak moment you’ll remember fondly. Another surprise like this and methinks I might have to rethink my reproach of this ostensible pothead as entertainer. Hallelujah, indeed!
Also major props to Castro for bringing imminent interest to Iz’s awesome catalogue.
R.I.P.:
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Kristy Lee Cook
Song: Martina McBride’s “Anyway”
My grade: C+
Spewing her best Minnie Pearl impression, KLC covers arguably this generation’s best female country singer and you have to give her credit for her smarts in pandering to her core constituents. I doubt she’s gaining any new believers at all, but Simon was correct that it was the “smartest” song choice of the night. I mean, it even mentions her man-toy in the line “God is great!!!” Oy, dose me with some holy water and get me the hell outta here. Words to live/sing by, Kristy: “You can pour your soul out singing, a song you believe in…that tomorrow they’ll forget you ever sang.” Amen.
The real deal:
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David Cook
Song: Our Lady Peace’s “Innocent”
My grade: B-
I’m not sure what the hell Cook was thinking in that John Kerry noggin of his. Not only does he pick a lousy, tuneless song from the obscure (well, Stateside, at least) tepid alt-rock ensemble Our Lady Peace (a CANADIAN alt-rock band, to make it worse), but he had to perform it like a jackhammer. His central disposition for vocal thrashing abandoned any nuance by thumping it along. It’s funny that Simon called David “pompous” because when Cook finished this cantankerous horror by displaying the words “GIVE BACK” on his palms as if this were a Coldplay concert, I turned to Rob to say, “Well, that was pretentious!” Dude, you aren’t Chris Martin or Bono, so a little less oleaginous affect goes a long way. It wasn’t curiosity that killed the fat cat, it was self-indulgence.
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Carly Smithson
Song: Queen’s “The Show Must Go On”
My grade: B-
The vocal bar was set kinda high this season with the planting of Carly into the Top 24. Despite the curiously overlooked controversy – which, BTW, i’m still stunned that no one is outraged enough to fire Randy over it – there is no denying her staggering pipes. Unfortunately, this week she needed some Roto-Rooter. This song is too big and pompous for any Idol to WANT to handle, and too superfluous for a 90 second edit, and when Carly jettisoned toward the rafters, it signified nothing in her vocal skill or point. Simon was astute (again) – it did feel angry – and instead of displaying some humility, it was an overwrought din of despair. I hope she makes it past elimination and finds herself soon. On talent, she belongs here.
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David Archuleta
Song: Robbie Williams’ “Angels”
My grade: B+
Someone IV this kid some NyQuil and put him to bed because our lil’ ArchuD2 looks like he hasn’t slept since last week’s show. He’s slope-eyed and odd-looking already, sorta like the “off” little boy who lives down the hall that you want to invite in, cook him some Mormon Split Pea Soup and read “The Velveteen Rabbit” to. I actually thought he was going to tumble off the interview stool, he was so tired (of course, talking to Ryan could cause immediate narcolepsy too). That exhaustion could be the reason for this solid, albeit, anti-climactic rendition of “Angels”. Sure, it was the second highlight of the night (after Castro) but if he stepped away from the piano during the second half of the song, what could have been his very own “I Believe” or “Summertime” or “Within A Dream” or “A Song For You” or “My Funny Valentine” catharsis winds up being a good – not great – Archu moment. Still, at 17, it’s nice to know that he is talented enough to appeal to a base that IS old enough to vote.
On a side note, “Angels” has long been one of my favorite songs (I kill with it at karaoke, BTW); I have always been as surprised as Simon at its anonymity here in the U.S. Thanks to David, hopefully this overlooked masterpiece will garner the curiosity-seekers and make it a belated hit. And make everyone forget Jessica Simpson’s execrable freak show.
Revel in the beauty:
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Brooke White
Song” Carole King’s “You’ve Got A Friend”
My grade: B
Wearing out her welcome faster than Yoko at the McCartney’s Christmas dinner, Brooke gave the most obvious and conventional recital of the night with a pretty, uneventful, and pretty uneventful presentation. The judges compared her to Carole King and Carly Simon in the past and if this be the path she chooses, I wish her well. There have been worse mooncalves scattered across music history that have lived long and prospered. So why not White? Me? I can’t help but feel that if she’s not careful, her destiny might beget this:
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So, it’s really anyone’s gamble…no one was heinous, and only 2 really good. Will the judges pimping of KLC save her from her deserved, long overdue elimination, or will Johns’ mediocrity find him a seat at the bottom 3 table. You know Syesha will be there waiting.
Here’s Jim’s weekly brilliance:
http://www.mtv.com/news/articles/1585066/20080409/id_0.jhtml
