6 Guys, 2 Gals. Testosteroni - the REAL San Francisco Treat!
There were so many things wrong with Idol’s iTunes Downloads showcase last night that l realized that I didn’t harp nearly as much as I could have.
Sure, I could have added copious amounts more wordage on the over-stated lexicon of praise heaped on Danny Gokey, or the fact that – Boom! Crash! Opera! – he was given the Ryan pimp-chat (fair enough, since they alter these) and was able to offer a detailed break down of why he chose the song he did and to counteract Simon’s negative evaluation from Opry night. Nicely done, you smarmy producers!
I could also fume that after an ear-shatteringly awful night, in lieu of just ending the judges commentary on the note it was, Ryan – in a scene that appeared so embarrassingly prepared – walked over and used Rounds’ absolutely beautiful children as sympathy props to thwart the negative feedback. Handing her daughter to Randy, the man “who was mean to Mommy”, the kid grasped the English-challenged Jackson in a tight hug while Mommy Lil was reduced to tears, and millions of fingers prepared to dial in her honor.
I might kick my own ass for marking Scott’s abysmal vocals a grade too high merely because it was his best performance yet and wrongfully because I felt his passion, which, it turned out, was actually agita. What the hell is going on with me?
Or, I could rant on about my organic loathing of Ryan Seacrest. If you add Danny Gokey + Anoop Desai then multiply by Lil Rounds, it STILL wouldn’t equal Ryan’s affected self-importance. With nary a mentor in sight this week, the Idol’s went on a mini-visit to Seacrest and his radio show “America’s Top 40″, created by Casey Kasem years before any of these kids were born.
Anoop and Gokey demonstrate the DOUCHE-BUMP
Ryan explains to the Top 9 how it feels to be the luckiest no-talent hack in America!
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I could reiterate all these troubles of the Idol world, but why digress to yesterday when tonight’s elimination show was chock-full-of its own crapola? From the tired Ford commercial, the pre-taped David Cook Daughtry-lite single, to the anomaly known as Lady Gaga’s Rocky horror show, to the hideously lip-synced Top 9 performance of Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believing”, I wasn’t sure if my DVR accidentally taped the SciFi network instead of Fox.
That these elimination show performances are all prerecorded and lip-synced this season is analogous to TPTBs spitting in the face of the viewers and the audience, and I can’t imagine how embarrassing it is for the truly talented of the Idols. Allison and Kris got the lead solos, and the best of last night neither looked nor sounded thrilled. Oh, yeah. Hey, Idol producers, another thing – next time you want to give Scott even a small line to sing during these lip-synced monstrosities, please try to prearrange the mic so it appears he’s singing into it and THIS doesn’t happen:
Ear Wig
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If the clueless Gokey fans who continue to verbally attack they naysayers (bring it on, suckers!) want proof of The Chosen One’s arrogance and self-absorption, all they need to do is watch him monopolize the kid-n-play segment where the Idol’s impersonated each other. Once again, it was the “Make Room For Danny” show, where, after maligning Matt’s Coldplay debacle (where the other Idols poked giddy fun at each other, Gokey maliciously imitated Matt as a goat. Oh, the irony!) he implores Allison, “How do you do “Jesus Take The Wheel”?! How do I do it?!” immediately after she already mimicked his “P.Y.T.” Hey, Gokey, not enough air time? Too bad – sit down and shut the fuck up you mook.
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With Megan now officially a footnote in Idol’s history, there’s an imperfect balance of testosterone. I was always dead-set against the equal male/female ratio – the Top 36>Top 24>Top 12 should have always been about the talent, not the gender, and I was happy that they threw a 13th in this season for a scintilla of spice.
While others might decry it as a mean gesture, I actually mustered up a bit of respect that the judges forwent the decision at a second chance save since there wasn’t a chance in hell that it was going to be wasted on Megan. But she squawked her way on the Idol stage one final time. Honk on, through the wind, honk on through the rain, Megan. While these past few weeks you’ve become more of an annoyance, I initially adored the eccentricity you promised. But worked so hard to fail at.
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Next week’s theme is “Songs From The Year You Were Born”. Or SFTYYWB. Hmm, there’s just never an easy way to quote that theme. Couldn’t they just say “Birth Year Songs”? Or “Birthday Songs?” Neh, that would only confuse everyone involved, especially Kara who’d probably want to hear 8 versions of the Beatles’ “Birthday”. How about “Songs Of The 80s”? as every Idol left standing – except Allison – was born during that decade, with 4 from 1985 alone! As it was the decade where the man I am today came into fruition, I’m terrified and delighted what’s to come next week.
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Another week where I’ve done miserably in my Idol Office Pool. I was hopeful/sure Anoop’s admirers imploded enough where they couldn’t save him, but apparently the only thing Anoop needs saving from is himself.
Did ya have to be so negative about Lady GaGa?? I thought she was phenomenal! I have been a fan since the first time I saw the “just dance” video on Logo. Personally, I think she could be the next Madonna..but that’s just my opinion.
I was so bummed that the ONLY part they gave Adam was the final glory note. The part that NONE of them could’ve done. The guy expressed from the start that he wanted a go at the song, “Don’y Stop Believing” and they give him a line-and-a-half.
Randy would’ve jumped up and down IF Adam sang more of that song.
This blog’s great!! Thanks
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The first half was normal drivel (although we did pause once during the Ford commerical while Dandelion head’s was sitting sassily on Little’s torso….glorious!) but somewhere at the midpoint this turned into the most surreal, ackward, awesome results show ever. By the time Caw cawed her way over to the chairs, Allison said “hello, familiar chair!”, Ryan dragged Dandelion around like a seeing-eye dog, Simon turned into a petulant five year old…..dude, you have to admit it was a “country mile” better than the performance show! Hahaha. Caw must have been reading VFTW under the covers every night, there was no other explanation.
I was put off by how Megan acted through the whole thing. They should’ve just started the show, let DC and Gaga sing and sent her home. No more of that re-grouping the kids, bottom 3, impersonations, etc.
Speaking of impersonations, Matt didn’t look like he enjoyed what Deadwife did AT ALL. It was such a low blow.
2 girls, 2 gays, and 4 straight guys left. not bad at all.
I didn’t realise Cook’s performance was pre-taped… and it wasn’t lip synced. Nor was Gaga. They had only pre-recorded background vocals, but the main vocals were live – that was very obvious and audible. Only the stupid group song was totally lipped, and way to go to post the picture with Scott’s mic.
Im intrigued, I only know one Idol to be gay, the obvious one.. Who is the other one????
I love the way you hit everything dead on. Props to ya and this post!
Gokey? LOL.
The pre-taping of group songs – both audio and video (Motown Week) might be so frustrating to Adam. I mean, he does so well live and corny lip sync numbers are ugh.
DC has live audio but pre-taped video. They showed the judges table once and it was empty. Then again, view from the back, and there are 4 persons seated… SUPPOSEDLY the judges. Don’t you find it weird that they didn’t get the judges’ reactions to DC’s platinum award. Ohwels.
Well, as far as I remember, they barely show the judges during those performances, and not only a few times did we see the judges (especially Paula, lol) walking away during commercial breaks and such and then coming back when the show continues… could be they all went somewhere or something (though that would be stupid while Cook performs…)
Now I’m wathing it back – they first showed the table from behind and the judges were there. Also, different from the Motown-Group-Song-Clip, which was clearly pre-taped and edited to look more like a music video, where you could even see the studio was empty, here they show the audience all the time. Ok, watched the whole performance – the judges were all the time at the table (or at least someone was), the table wasn’t empty – everytime they showed it, 4 people were sitting there.
Now it could be that they pre-taped it for some reason, but with audience and stuff… that must have been right before the show… and somehow I find that stupid.
And for not showing the judges’ reactions to David’s platinum record – well, the producers did a LOT more stupid things than that this season.
And I forgot to say – they showed the judges table several times during DC’s song.
You apparently don’t like anything about American Idol, why bother watching!
Did you ask me or the guy who wrote the review?
I saw that there were people seated at the judges table but I doubt they’re THE judges. If they are, they would’ve shown all four of them giving DC a standing O. They will not pass up a time where Simon gives a standing O haha.