****
I know, that was quick. My LAST POST suggested that I wouldn’t have time to review all of the performances due to my cable mishap, but I decided that, instead of working through lunch time, I’d actually take some time for myself and catch up thanx to Rickey and MJ and their seminal Idol sites.
There were so many infuriating Idol moments that occurred last night that I could spend the next few hours screaming louder than Danny’s cat-boiling “Dream On” wail heard round the globe instead of admitting that it was, all things considered, great TV!
I can spend time laughing at Kara preferring Danny to choose “earlier” Aerosmith (“Dream On” is as early as Aerosmith as you can get as it’s their first single from their debut album) then citing comeback hits “Crazy” and “Cryin’”. I can throw my Jenny Craig fajita at my computer screen when the judges excused the genrefor Gokey’s performance and NOT the cacophonous gobbledygook that spewed out of his mouth. I could run in the streets and scream forever more at Simon’s Allison attacks. I could…I could…
…oh, why bother? Let’s just get to the point. I promise this will be as succint as possible~
****
Adam Lambert
Song: Led Zeppelin’s “Whole Lotta Love”
Grade: A
I had to laugh when, after a blistering Zep cover, Randy told Adam he should make a record with Slash – I mean, he sorta did, and it was called “Appetite For Destruction”. But I digress (about 20 years…); Lambert possesses a wider range than even the great Axl did, but even with no walls confining hard rock vastness, Adam forgoes most of his stagey trickery while delivering like a Rock N’ Roll veteran. His “Whole Lotta Love” was everything it was supposed to be and a little less – a loud, bombastic, posturing, swaggering, blues/rock-infused assault on the senses, yet peculiarly restraint of his usual stage calisthenics. Still, somewhere, Robert Plant is smiling. He’s probably also hysterically laughing at the thought of Adam swooning, “Way down inside, woman…” and “I wanna give you every inch of my love…”
****
Allison Iraheta
Song: Janis Joplin’s “Crybaby”
Grade: A-
Let’s be perfectly clear here. It is never, ever safe to even attempt Janis Joplin unless you have the musical balls to back up the over-sized audacity. And I can’t recall when I’ve heard an amateur so powerfully convey Joplin’s yearning so convincingly. It’s easy to negate the performance following Lambert’s, but that’s not only unfair, it’s unjust. This was not a “copycat” rendition at all, but imperfect yet electric, and, to stupidly suggest that she should have chosen “Piece of My Heart” would have merely been fodder for Kelly Clarkson comparisons.
****
First Duet:
Danny & Kris
Song: Styx’s “Renegade”
Grade: C+
In one of this season’s most awkward scenarios, Idol marries Kris’ folk rock proclivities with Gokey’s faux white-boy Gospel blues in an attempt at another twist in a precarious season. Last time we heard this Styx number was when Chris Daughtry gave a dynamic performance during the two-song Top 5 back in season 5. If you listen closely, their disparate voices blended well enough harmonically, but as each took his turn at a solo, their chemistry-free antics were lost in a maze of confusion, as their attempts to out-sing and out-riff the other coagulated into chaos and disorder. However, in his never-ending quest for the finale of his wet dreams, Simon INCORRECTLY stunts Kris by declaring that Danny sang better.
****
Kris Allen
Song: Beatles’ “Come Together”
Grade: B+
This wasn’t Kris’ weakest turn-at-bat despite the dimwitted judges rants, and while it lacked his usual flair for his smooth supple tones, his invoking certain melodic liberties induced a creativity that was conveniently overlooked by the judges, (who continually carp about ‘originality’) in the most obviously original vocal of the evening. But perhaps, knowing the not-so-hidden agenda of TPTB, Allen decided to just entertain. And, haters be damned, he did.
****
Danny Gokey
Song: Aerosmith’s “Dream On”
Grade: F
If Danny Gokey wants to wobble around the stage like a mini-Good Year blimp juiced on Kentucky Fried Chicken instead of butane, or applaud his own performances (as he did again tonight), that’s his prerogative. But no one, including the Lords of Idol, can expect anyone with an IQ of a snare drum to believe that this bifocal yokel could emulate anything approximating a rock singer. Descending in defeat of his own mammoth ego, he gurgles the opening refrains (as is his metier) and as he heaved toward the finish line, he let out the already-most infamous bellowing in Idol’s history. It was like watching a zombie drunk on over-the-counter formaldehyde. Raping an electrocuted Abyssinian. Then eating it. Conspicuously, while Randy gave Danny an “A+ for a valiant effort”, he neglected to use his chronic apothegm – perhaps, Randy, that even if you CAN sing, you CAN’T sing anything.
****
Second Duet:
Allison & Adam
Song: Foghat’s “Slow Ride”
Grade: A
Wow. Maybe Rock and roll dreams do come true, after all.
****
Did Adam’s duet with Allison “save” her from elimination, as Simon dementedly suggested? Or will Danny finally hear America yell out “THE EMPEROR HAS NO CLOTHES!!!” Will Kris succumb to Simon’s bizarre barb and melt into Idol history or will it see its very first very first Top 3 all-male revue?
And why am I still blabbering about Idol when the work is piling up on my desk?
****
Adam rocks my world each Tuesday at 1am UK time.
I wish people would stop picking on Danny. I am starting to feel sorry for him. The last note was nuts. He shouldn’t have chosen that song. But I don’t think Danny’s applauding himself. I think that he’s applauding the audience, as if to say thank you for the support. I like Danny’s voice, but don’t like what he has chosen to sing, except for Come Rain or Come Shine. He’s no Adam or Allison or Kris, but he does have his own merits. It’s fair to say his performance was funny, but being mean about him could cause a backlash in his favor.
Excellent. I agree with everything you say here. Gokey needs to go. Unfortunately, I fear for Kris and Allison.
Ideally, Kris and Adam in the finally. Both are artistically good, and so very different.
HA Danny got an F! He sure deserves it!
I was completely overwhelmed by this hour of television, in ways both orgasmic and horrific. Thank you, Jeff my friend, for understanding!
Adam, a George Michael wannabe.
If whales and dolphins have orgies under the sea when Adam squeals, then they must have beached themselves upon Gokey’s last note.
Adam’s performance was the right balance of sex and restraint for a family show. He’s no Plant but his voice is as orgasmic to my ears.
I loved his and Allison’s duet. Chemistry!!
Gokey made my year. That last ‘note’ was beyond hysterical.
Jeffrey…unlike Norman Mailer, words don’t fail you…’Abyssinian. Then eating it.’ I haven’t laughed that hard in a while! And, yet, Allison is now gone…tomorrow and tomorrow…only certain special interest lobbies pull this crap off (but only at their own folly)…Allison, thou deservest better, and if not here, then on a bigger stage…you go dawg…perhaps not best in show now, but 2nd best now, not fourth, and who knows with years